"You can never have too much sky. You can fall asleep and wake up drunk on sky, and sky can keep you safe when you are sad. Here there is too much sadness and not enough sky."
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Looksee. It's anne. She made a website. Then people got mad because it was too, erhm, public I guess. I don't see where they could have fathomed that idea. But if you're here right now it is because you are a *trusted* friend, and if you somehow got here without asking permission then i probably HATE YOU, so go away please. Everyone else is welcome to enjoy.
These are my daily hits:
Pitas.com |
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Friday, May 5, 2000 08:55 a.m. Silent Reading It's all quiet Here. The Buzz and hum. The tranquil. The giggles from girls next door Secretly hating you Fortunately you hate them too. Quietly breathing Remove yourself from here So quiet, so tranquil The buzz and hum But it's time to get to work. Ah Hi school. That's where I am. Where in the first hour of the day they fill your head with Anne Sexton and by the third you're supposed to be able to accomplish thermochemical equations. I don't think so. My brain doesn't work like that. Does yours? On my bad day yesterday I went looking for miracle water. You really do have to go to pcc for it I suppose. My mom bought me flipping desnani or whatever that coke-reused bottled water is. No good is what it is. I don't want to be here. I want to be far.... far away. But my time is up. Thursday, May 4, 2000 06:16 p.m. Yeah, so far? bad day. BAAAAD day. DMV. Car wont start. Forgetting books for class. People quitting Talisman. Getting very angry. Having to work on Sunday. The regulars. Not having money. No ATM card. Having to deal with stupid security about my wallet. Mrs. Congdon. Knowing Heidi isn't going to be online until late tonite so I can't tell her I wasn't talking about her yesterday. Sigh. Having no food. I should go get a banana. I need some serious down time. Oh but I have homework. Pooie. Not fun. but me. Yay. Thursday, May 4, 2000 12:22 a.m. "The Sun is out, The Sky is blue, It's Beautiful, And So are you..." There's so much to say, But I don't know what or how. I can't explain it. I would appreciate some miracle water. Does it make miracles? I wish it did in a way. There are so many songs that I would quote if I had the patience to remember. I did want to say that I *don't* appreciate people touching me. I don't want your hugs or tickles or pokes or whatthefucks ever else. Unlike you, I don't give a shit about pretending. So please don't hug me one second and glare at me the next. I thought Dawson's was really dissapointing. And so was Law & Order. But Felicity was good. Especially when my mom called that greg guy an s.o.b. Sometimes my mom scares me. I don't want to take the sats. That means I can't do anything of any fun on friday I don't think. This whole being friends with seniors thing is hard on me. It sounds pathetic, but it's hard to stay awake during the day cos I just want to stay up all night talking to them, cos I don't see them at school really. Saying HI in the halls is not the same as actually talking to them, you know. Life is tough. "That night you leaned over and threw up into your hair I held you there Thinking I would offer you my pulse If I thought it would be useful I would give you my breath...." --Pulse, Ani Difranco Wednesday, May 3, 2000 12:06 a.m. You know when things are on your mind? When things are on your mind, every damn song makes you think of it. It was like this with the Rosie section of my recent past, and now I've been in gross state again. I dunno. It's complicated. It's anne. Today I walked home, listening to the Beatles, and as I walked up 12th all this wind picked up and the petals began falling from a cherry tree, so I picked up a pile off the grass and put it on top of my discman. I walked home the rest of the way, with flowers falling all over the place. mle sent me a great link today. The Star Wars is Satan Worship website. It was good times. When Scott took us to Laura's house at lunch, I saw it with my very own eyes. No. I don't have more to say. SO why did I just type two more line breaks?... um, song quotes! "And if you never heard that silence/well it's a godawful sound" There. Now Scott will stop whining Monday, May 1, 2000 11:20 p.m. I made my poem page. It has five new poems. With more to be added daily. Alright? I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. "I'm tryin, I'm dying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away." Monday, May 1, 2000 05:58 p.m.  It's a bunch of new stuff for everyone who hasn't read hid #3, and it looks pretty. So you can chill there, and life will be good. I would talk about this weekend, but. I don't think i should. It's one of those if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all things. I just was too upset by it all. It's caused me to rethink a few things. and sigh a lot. *sigh*. Dammit. I fucked up a prom opportunity! What the hell was I thinking. But I still feel the same way. Arg. Today I went swinging and it made me feel a little better. I went with rosie who told me my problems were stupid and insignificant. Everyone's problems are stupid and insignificant, yet *i* listen to them. Is it really so hard? Listen to me whine for two seconds. It's not like i've never listened to you before. I also went with Dan, laura, and Brian. Then I came home and typed every poem in my poetry book. They will soon be up on gurlpages. it's like 40 poems. And they mostly still resemble how i feel about things. It scares me because I wrote them all two years ago or more. It's not that they still fit me, they fit me again. Nevermind. Don't listen to me. Listen to moby. augh. i need that cd. Oh, and I just want to comment that michael's bed is really nice. I mean, that sounds sick twisted and disturbing, but it's great. It's like a big honking pillow. I want it. i never mentioned it before. But it's true. uh... yeah.... Saturday, April 29, 2000 05:57 p.m. Hey. I hadn't realized I didn't write since wednesday. So my apologies to all my avid readers. Don't hate me. Anyway, we had block scheduling this week so things were weird. When I had two hour Talisman, Rosie skipped out with me and she made me one of the best b52 lattes I've ever had. And she took me home. And we spent the car ride complimenting each other. It was good times. When I'm not trying to be her shrink or her mom, it's good. but sometimes it's really hard not to. I think I have to go eat dinner. But last night was another one of those beautiful nights that I want to never end. It sucks because I come home and my parents are mad at me and what not. I don't care. I don't care about school or homework or anything. And then I come home and feel all guilty. grr. I have to go, really. spagetti calls. Wednesday, April 26, 2000 06:53 p.m. I was going to put up a poem here, but everything is already in a zine or too gushy to put up here. I'll put it up on my gurlpages site sometime, I hope. But anyway. I still am rideless to the dc party, so i might be stuck. Oh well. I'm listening to the Beatles, and I'm really... sad. My mom was saying how, she "wanted to move out." which really sucks but she was making me so mad earlier that I'm completely biased into saying, "fine. Leave. go" She's actually standing right here. so gotta go Tuesday, April 25, 2000 11:00 p.m. dentist guy scared me. Don't want anesthesia really. Tidwell. Hmmm... ok. Uh, School, food, life, Party after with Laura. Anne's really tired, and wants to go to bed. Go swinging at night. Fall in the stars. They're gorgeous. I love the clear nights. I want it to be summer so I feel fine staying out all night. It doesn't scare me, but I feel the consequences in first period. So that sucks. Oh well. Pretty soon, i hear. I'm done. Until next year, anyway. Monday, April 24, 2000 11:47 p.m. Oy, I'm tired. Today was monday, therefore the longest day of the week. But it was LAURA'S BIRTHDAY!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURA! I LoVE YoU! So at 7 am in my skirt I went out in the dew-covered grass of my yard and picked tulips. Then we went to school and had good times in LA, I need to finish house on mango street. It's such a great book. I'm so glad I don't let schooling interfere with my education.... Then we saw dan man and he totally had the ryan phillippe thing going on, and if he wasn't a frosh... oy. Anyway. :). Mara gave laura a balloon and I went to microaps, hitting scott on the way. (no, not hitting ON scott, just hitting him.) Me & anna sat and talked in 2nd period, and dear lord I did some WORK. I can't believe it. However, I put on the soundtrack to my life (Reel Big Fish), and I was set on doing nothing for the next period. Fortunately, that's chemistry. So I did do nothing. Except talk to Lauren & rosie. Fourth was highly uneventful except alex is good times, and (I just realized I'm sandwiched between two alexes. I mean the guy one) then we (me & anna) went to talisman for lunch. That was fun. I love laughing so much. I laugh all the time. It's great. 5th I ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off, then I went to french and found out I have a bunch of work to do in that class. Then I came home, and waited around online to talk to scott, while talking to other people. And I ended up having a total Kinkos party, partially on accident and it was good times. I even invited Britain. A girl who is actually still pretty cool. And if you want to hear some so-bad-they're-funny dead baby jokes, she's your girl. But anyways, we had the nick drakeness going on, and then I had to be sad and come home. THis is where I go on and on about friendship. I think Scott and Andreas are two of the coolest people I've ever known in my entire life. They make me so happy, all the time. I'm perfectly content to laugh endlessly with them about nothing. We'd all be perfectly content to spend days driving nowhere in scott's van, only stopping to bum change for gas, and pile right back in again. We have stories and lives and dreams and it's so easy to talk about them, right there. Whatever I say is perfectly sane and normal to them. I can't explain it. But I don't care. I also don't care what people say about it, because I'm not going to change my opinion of them for someone else. No one can make me laugh so hard I fall over and start to cry in LA class except them. They bring me joy. Another thing. I've listened to the Same Mariah Carey song for the past hour, and I'm still not sick of it. I'm getting scared of myself. Please dear lord, save my soul. quickly. Monday, April 24, 2000 12:32 a.m. Today Seattle cried because Lene left. Most of the day, actually, but especially as we drove her to the airport. It was actually pretty powerful. Not because Lene left, because I know she will be back soon and will tell all of her friends about how we go swinging all the time. It was sad because after she left, Mormor started sobbing. She was afraid that she would never see her again. And that made me really think about her, and how much I am going to miss her. Because I don't think there's anyone in the world I love more than her. well... :) (I love my cat, dontchaknow). And I did too much yesterday I guess. I pulled a muscle in my back or something. Anyway, 5 advils later I feel fiiine. What else happened today. I tried to go to Kinkos but that didn't work out so I guess I'm going tomorrow. I listened to the best cds ever (thanks graham!) and did half of my history homework. Then I went and got ice cream with Andreas, but the whole marbletop thing did not work out so we just went to the upscale greenwood market where they provided us with spoons at our request. And then we ate it, cool guy considered stealing a WATERMELON, and we went home. That's my night. Now I'm listening to the police & the spice girls. Life is good. *all the time* |