It's my birthday on the 21st, so I figured I'd put up a hint-hint site . Cos, you can tell what a person likes by their music. Let me tell you. :)
Monday, January 8, 2001 11:37 p.m.
Well, school doesn't seem that bad when you're kind of floaty. I have not slept in a few days, so It's interesting. In that, I'm exhausted.
But I can just blissfully ignore everyone because it's way too much work to try to think about all this. :)I don't think I want to do this again anytime soon however.
Lately, I've actually been surfing the web and finding things that I enjoy. It's kind of nice. I am trying to figure out what all this space means to me.
Haven't figured it out quite yet, but I'm working on it.
Sunday, January 7, 2001 11:17 p.m.
I think it's a bad sign when all you do when you're at your house is wish to leave it.
Sigh.
I did homework all day today, went out with Laura & Scott to Ladro and then came home and worked on my college application for UW until just now when I snatched away the computer from my father. It's been an exciting day.
I can't decide whether or not I want to go to Ellensburg next weekend. I don't think I do. I'm invited but I don't feel welcome. Sucks to be me, don't it?
Um, yeah. I have to go to school tomorrow. Meaning, I have to fall in a slimy depressing dark and evil pit of dispair tomorrow. At least I know I completed my requirements over break. It's funny how break and work seems like two words that do not fit together. Unfortunately my teachers do not agree.
I wish I was in boston. Don't you?
Sunday, January 7, 2001 03:44 a.m.
I fucking hate my computer. So why do I love it so much?
mmmmmffffpppptttt. I slept until just now. My mom is mad at me. I don't want to be home (do I ever want to be home?). Homework time, I guess.
Saturday, January 6, 2001 12:13 a.m.
Ok. This is news.
Wait. I don't think you're ready quite yet...
I have been in andreas's house for more than 20 minutes!!!
This is really weird.
But the otis redding is the same here as there...
so yeh, it's been an interesting night. I spent the earlier portions out with my fam, at my grandma's opening. Then I went to BHS' basketball game vs. rainer beach (we lost, big shock). There were lots of seniors there, I mean, the people who graduated in years past that I still consider seniors. It was weird. I am never, ever, going to go to a ballard basketball game once I graduate. Oh, maybe at like my 25th reunion or something.
Then I had a fight with the fam, then I went to spots and said hi to laura and lashonda, then I picked up andreas. WE went to tully's and I gave andreas hit-on-the-barista advice. My recommendation? Leave a tip. Considering he only had a ten and a twenty, tho, he would have been this much psychotic. Next time though.
Then we drove to michael's house, where I called him from the kitchen to make sure going in his room was ok.
I'm realizing now, I should have left him a $20 tip. Damn.
Then we couldn't find anybody else, so I ended up at andreas' house.
This is soooooo weird.
Friday, January 5, 2001 04:43 p.m.
I just spent three hours documenting the fact that I am a senior. In a week and a half, i will get the proofs to see if I'm really as beautiful as they say I am.
I'm doubting it.
But it was nice to say.
I'm going to my gramma's art show at the phinney neighborhood center and I'm going to want out. So if you want to hang out, call. I like calls. :). 540.8673
Friday, January 5, 2001 04:31 a.m.
I want a computer that can function while operating Adobe Illustrator.
Apparently, that's too much to ask for.
I know exactly how I want to design hid #4, if only I can figure out how. and without illustrator!!
I have some writing that I want edited, but I really don't want to ask my close friends to read it. I kinda just want them to see it finished.
So, if you read my page and don't really know me, and are bored. Let me know. I would be happy to let you have a sneak peak, and a free copy at the end. email me .
Oh yeah, and I had a brush with fame. My page was mentioned on sooperficial because of my lovely comment on new year's eve. That made me laugh.
DAMN!! Someone from Harvard just read this site. I feel really embarrassed now. I hope they didn't read too far back. I was making fun of one geek, not the Harvard life or population in general.
Anne's blushing.
Friday, January 5, 2001 02:39 a.m.
I am going to regret this nocturnal schedule I run on during break when I return to school. I know I will feel ill. Waking up early just seems so unnatural to me however. Hmm.
Nights those one this is.
baaaaaa.
Thursday, January 4, 2001 02:21 a.m.
I'm ouchie. I am not trying to attempt to understand why I am an asset to anybody, let alone Emerson college, aka utopia, aka heaven in a boston basket, aka....
When did they say in college application time you have to get over self doubt??
I want my money back. Or at least some free therapy.
Wednesday, January 3, 2001 05:44 a.m.
He's the kind of guy that, if you saw him on the street, you would simply pass. Ordinary. Who would have known he's making me all warm & squishy inside. His music that it.
David Gray. Good Guy.
Yesterday was absolutely excellent. I have not had such a nice day in a really, really long time. I saw Laura, Scott, and Freshman Dan. I had excellent conversation again, for the first time in months. Then Brandon talked to me until about 3 AM, which was really cool. But I outlasted everybody, working on my emerson application.
That whole thing kinda makes me laugh.
Good night.
"Living is easy with eyes closed/misunderstanding all you see" -- Those british folk
Tuesday, January 2, 2001 02:53 p.m.
and I might just fall into listening to david gray, all day long..............
Tuesday, January 2, 2001 02:45 p.m.
I hate waking up, realizing it's 2 o'clock, saying to yourself, "oh fuck, it's two o'clock." Because, why? I didn't miss anything. Well, except a page from Michael which technically woke me up. It was this jumble of half sleep my head was in which led me to believe my pager had the alarm set and was therefore in my bed. So, while finishing nineteen eighty four I threw apart my bed in search of a little green thing that was sending me messages.
About 20 minutes later I realized the pager was in my pants on the floor.
oh.
I have a feeling it's one of those days, however, it has so far been more productive than yesterday. Yesterday, I went to mormor's and made fudge. The fudge is available to all who can get here fast enough.
Today I am supposed to: install the network cards that have been sitting around my house for quite some time. (this is not going to happen) Call mayor dave (this is going to happen) Call Anna (this is going to happen, because we need to busta move for congress. I should probably call nicole too, but... she hasn't called me lately.)
Work on my college applications. Take a shower (done! I rule!)
Call rosie.
Monday, January 1, 2001 04:17 p.m.
Gramma's house now. Buh bye.
Monday, January 1, 2001 02:49 a.m.
OVER
I can't hold this day
Anymore
Understand me
Anymore
To tread this fantasy, openly
What have I done
Ooh this uncertainty, is taking me over
I can't mould this stage
Anymore
Recognise me
Anymore
To tread this fantasy, openly
What have I done
Ooh this uncertainty, is taking me over
is taking me over
To tread this fantasy, openly
What have I done
Ooh this uncertainty, is taking me over
is taking me over
is taking me over
"Over" Portishead
I've been digging this site. You might too. I'm sick. I want some tea.
mmmmmffffppppttt
Friday, December 29, 2000 09:14 p.m.
Well, I'm back from whidbey.
And kind of alive.
I'm ready to go to sleep now, I feel like crap, which I can blame solely on Michael. I have not consumed so many cough drops in a year at least.
Normally when I get sick I just sleep and stay home and try to get better--but since I was at a cabin on a puget sound island, and there was work to be done--I didn't. Not to say we got much done.
We watched three movies and I'm not adding them becuase i've seen them all before & recently, so no.
Lloyd called me a fox today, and since I relay everything I do to my parents I told them that. They asked me, had I ever been called a fox before. I said, no. Then my dad continued to say, "Ah, geek compliments." "Lloyd is not a geek!" I retorted, to which he said, "...Then what was he doing hanging out with you?"
Normally, that would make me sad but tonight we all just laughed. I think it's the menthol. I'm abuzz from cough drops.
between the bars
drink up, baby, stay up all
night
the things you could do, you won't but you might
the potential you'll be that you'll never see
the promises you'll only make
drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days
do what i say and i'll make you okay and drive them away
the images stuck in your head
people you've been before that you don't want around anymore
that push and shove and won't bend to your will
i'll keep them still
drink up, baby, look at the stars, i'll kiss you again
between the bars where i'm seeing you
there with your hands in the air waiting to finally be caught
drink up one more time and i'll make you mine
keep you apart deep in my heart separate from the rest
where i like you the best
and keep the things you forgot
the people you've been before that you don't want around anymore
that push and shove and won't bend to your will
i'll keep them still
Elliott Smith, Between the Bars
Wednesday, December 27, 2000 06:01 p.m.
Ok, before I get tired, I'm going to add this. Last night I was up coughing til about 6 AM, and then I had to get up at ten to be at school. Let me tell you, I felt wonderful. While I was at it, chris called me /freaking/ out about whidbey tomorrow, which, I guess was kinda crazy but I think it's ok now.
I went to school, and cleaned for four hours. Well, we went to briano's for about 15 minutes too.
Then I came home, talked to the wonderful laura before talking to the wonderful david who told me he didn't really know where we were going or why we were going there... and left me in charge of calling 9 people tonight. Sigh. OK, well.
Scott, Laura & I went to mr. spots where I got applejuice and tea and played with a little robot lizard thing that did the mamba. Everyone loves me ever more now since I made them the xmas card that was oh so nice. So anyway, victor punched my id card and uh, now I'm wonderwoman.
Now I'm home and I really, really want to go to sleep but I have to stay online for a bit. Yeah? yeah.
Wednesday, December 27, 2000 03:13 a.m.
Well, tonight has been interesting. A terrible movie with a drunken bum (and 8 other people), followed by me leaving abruptly to spend the evening with someone else. That probably wasn't very nice of me, but I really didn't want to stay. Something was very weird, still is very weird inside of me. Since about 3 weeks ago, I've felt totally different. I don't know what it is.
I don't really have anything else to say, but do I ever? That's why I'm here.
Tuesday, December 26, 2000 01:32 a.m.
bleh. I'm going to be sick.
Sunday, December 24, 2000 10:58 p.m.
So, here's some of the stuff I got for christmas:
*a grey wool/acrylic sweater
*a red long sleeved t shirt
*new sheets for college (they're twin sized)
*The Doctor is Sick by Anthony Burgess
*A Malayan Trilogy by Anthony Burgess
* Mothers Who Drive Thier Daughters Crazy: Ten Types of "impossible" moms and how to deal with them by Susan S. Cohen and Edward M. Cohen
*blank book
*candle holder & candle
*"money moose" (stuffed bull with a twenty and a five--my uncle is cool)
*$25 Fred Meyer's Music Gift card
* a Delia*s music sampler (boy, am I excited about that one... it's interactive, too. yay)
*A purse (so I can fix my other one)
*Part of a water buffalo
*a new printer
I think that's it. Useful stuff, some of it. Of course, I didn't ask for any of it and I'm not really feeling all that... grateful. I never do. I don't feel like my parents put thought into gifts for me. I don't know why... I can't think of any particular reason.
And andreas , rest assured I chickened out. At 12:30 this afternoon I ran over to downtown ballard & bought stuff for my grandma. I couldn't help myself, I would feel too riddled with guilt.
I also found something perfect for michael while looking for stuff for myself, but it's nothing big or anything. Everyone else is getting cards, but later on.
Now I'm tired, and I have to decide how I will spend $25 at fred meyer's. I think I already know, though. We'll see.
Merry Early Christmas.
Sunday, December 24, 2000 01:53 a.m.
I wish I didn't always write about the same thing all the time. It's kind of frustrating. But I'm trying to figure it out. Now I finally have some time, I can work on my zine again.
Is it wrong of me to not be getting my parents or gramma anything for christmas? The last thing I want to do is shop on xmas eve to get them something they kind of want but will forget in a day. I don't know. Oh, crapmaster. I'm not getting them anything. i feel bad, but I'd rather do that than anything else.
I'll attempt to be happy all day tomorrow, how's that?
As long as my mom doesn't tell me I'm not pretty or that my face looks messed up.
Happy holidays, everybody.
Saturday, December 23, 2000 10:44 p.m.
There. I made this page to represent my mood about christmas.
What else? I slept all day. I went to spots with Scott. Laura and Lashonda showed up. It was a lil strange. Those two are good kids, I like them. I realize I didn't make them xmas cards! I feel bad. I didn't make lots of xmas cards. But I made thirty. But I haven't finished 10 and I don't really want to. Doesn't mean anything except I am sick of all this crap. I got how many candy canes yesterday?
