It was... right. It felt like the most perfect thing I'd done in a long time." |
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Friday, May 19, 2000 03:52 p.m. I'm a putz. What the hell am I doing? I'm on the intronet in my 6th period class. No one else is here except for one other girl (hey evan!) and me. So what do I do? I put on titanic. Like the sweetest movie ever (besides breakfast at tiffany's.) And then it's in french which makes it all the better. Sigh. School. eh. I don't know what's going on today. Francais c'est le plus belle langue dans tout le monde. Thursday, May 18, 2000 05:07 p.m. Ok, this is for scott, and anyone else with apreciation for Camus or morbid lethal diseases. *ahem* Bubonic A young man Turned 28 He won the lottery And died the next day It's the black death In your chardonnay It's a death row beckoned On your first date And isn't it Bubonic, Don't you think? It's infected rain flowing in from the east or that is what all the doctors seem to think or maybe they're just in need of a shrink And who would have thought it kills you Mr. Play it Safe Was afraid to die he packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye he waited his whole damn life to die that night and as his lymph glands swelled he thought well isn't this nice And isn't it Bubonic, Don't you think? It's infected rain flowing in from the east or that is what all the doctors seem to think or maybe they're just in need of a shrink And who would have thought it kills you The rats has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everythings ok and everything's going right The rats have a funny was of letting you know when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face Traffic Jam, everyone's running away Everyone's dying from Bubonic plague It's like 10,000 deaths When all you need is a life It's meeting the man of your dreams And watching him die that night It's infected rain flowing in from the east or that is what all the doctors seem to think or maybe they're just in need of a shrink And who would have thought it kills you Oh you know the rats have a funny way of sneaking up on you The rats have a funny, funny way Of killing you now Killing you now Other than that I'm good. It's been one of those days that i just couldn't make it through at school, even tho classes were shortened. I just couldn't stand it. This is awesome. I just downloaded the Tom Jones/Cardigans cover of "Burning down the house." Good times dude! And bess no longer blocks about a zillion pages any more. (sorry michael, they still block editthispage.) Spot's is such a nice place. It should be law that everyone that lives in Ballard is required to go once a week. But then it might get all crowded... So nevermind. But go! get vanilla lattes! be happy and content to do even chemistry. I did three worksheets today becos I went to spots. What else what else. I'm not sure. I haven't gone bowling in forever. And I have to actually do homework one of these weekends, I kind of have an impressionist report due. Crap. That's no fun. Food now Thursday, May 18, 2000 02:59 p.m. OK, we're not there anymore. so don't go. Ok? be good. Thursday, May 18, 2000 01:25 p.m. Guess what? Anna scott & anne are illin it at mr. spots. Show up or page me and stuff. so there. hgbftgu says scott. buhbye Wednesday, May 17, 2000 05:46 p.m. I found out something spectacular. My temporary computer for dsl purposes... HAS A SOUNDCARD! I have the macy gray going on, as well as my whitealbumness... moby of course... anne's in a somewhat dreamy state. I really don't want to deal with issues. I don't. It's a lot of work, and it's so fucking distracting it's insane. In another hour my opinion on this subject will be completely different... but now I'm just illin it to my new music. For 12 more minutes. Most of today I was crazy. I mean, I still am of course. But really crazy. I was deranged and distracted after yesterday. I just wish people weren't putzes sometimes is all. It's not an easy thing to ask for I guess. I need some miracle water. Badly. Tuesday, May 16, 2000 12:16 a.m. btw. I was going to add something completely different here before. I should never check my email. I get thrown. Silly sily girl. Monday, May 15, 2000 11:46 p.m. I Want To Tell You I want to tell you.... My head is filled with things to say When you're here..... All those words they seem to slip away When I get near you..... The games begin to drag me down It's allright..... I'll make you maybe next time around But if I seem to act unkind It's only me, it's not my mind That is confusing things I want to tell you..... I feel hung up but I don't know why I don't mind....... I could wait forever, I've got time Sometimes I wished I knew you well Then I could speak my mind and tell you Maybe you'd understand I want to tell you..... I feel hung up but I don't know why I don't mind..... I could wait forever, I've got time I've got time..... I've got time..... I've got time..... Faith. There isn't a lot. But there should be enough to go around. Sometimes there is so little I forget but I really try not to. Augh. This is so confusing. I really do feel upside down and backwards. But not really. I actually feel suprisingly upright and straightlaced. Which doesn't seem quite right. But it's all good. or something. Sunday, May 14, 2000 11:25 p.m. Why does not a soul update their page when I need them to? I really think I'm going insane. Crazy. Psycho. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm stumbling around. I've lost it. Cups of coffee taste like washing up. What am I going to do? I guess. I'll just regret a lot. I regret three days. Today, of course was one of those days. Today was terrible. It's only getting longer too. My dad got mad at me. I stayed out too late. Because we had company so I had to come home and make popcorn. Sorry. I have two other days that I regret. One was the night of tolo. Damn that was a while back, but i do. A lot. The other time was the night that all of us saw dead people. I really do. I feel like I'm dying. Maybe I'm really getting sick. Maybe it's not that kind of sickness. Fucking a. Sunday, May 14, 2000 03:15 p.m. Ok. Fear of html horror should be inserted here. Very well so. I hope it works out. So, although none of it is really significant at all to me right now, I should tell you all what I have been doing lately. On Friday I went to see little shop of horrors with anna and rachel. And rachel was late just like usual and she left us right afterwards. It was ok, cos I mostly just talked to heidi. A little to brandon too. After that, graham, anna and I went to denny's and they got food and I spoke a lot. I try not to but sometimes it just spills out. I didn't disclose anyone's secrets of course. I'm good at that, now. On saturday, I went to see As you Like It with my parents. There's a really good quote in the program. I'll go get it. It's suprisingly relevant. "By misunderstandings men come to understand, and by lies and feignings they discover truth." Helen Gardener Following the play, I went to chez richard's and had a lovely vanilla shake, cheeseburger and fries. I also found out that our red car no longer functions properly, which made me intensely sad. So we took joe metro home, and laura was kind enough to pick us up at the busstop for my granma. Then I illed it at Laura's house for awhile. I called heidi but she had gone to the play so I couldn't talk to her more than anything else. Then I came home and watched er with my mom. It was REALLY good, and it had some definite relevance to me. Part of it was about this character's father dying, and how he started telling his daughter "I love you" a lot more. I was jealous. My dad doesn't say that to me. Our whole family doesn't really talk about that stuff much. It's weird. We talk about enviromental politics and world war II. Then laura called, and I got plans goin on in about two minutes. We picked up Michael, Dan, and Andreas and went bumpin up to capitol hill, had the cheesecake, or at least the really cool people did. Others had apple pie and creme brule. Then we came back and dropped Dan off, all the while talking about running over anyone in a prom dress and listening to the white album. Then we illed it at Michael's for awhile, and then Laura was tired cos she had to get up at 8 to go horseback riding. So we cut the evening kinda short. I went to bed at 2! That's so incredibly early. Wow. But really, none of that seems relevant right now. I'm trying to think, but it's not working. Sometimes, by the lovely Britney Spears. Groove Theory works. Fiona helps. Not really. I know what I want to do. But I just don't see how. "Love can break your heart But love can mend your life." Ok, it's backwards. But it's still the police. Friday, May 12, 2000 07:24 p.m. Hey. I'm going to be illin it in the Ballard auditorium for awhile. And I'm going to do stuff afterwards. Chill? 540-8673. Damn sometimes my website sounds like the personals. heh. Thursday, May 11, 2000 10:46 p.m. 1607. Jamestown. 1776. Independence. 1861. Civil. 1903. Spanish American. Name a date. Hit me hit me. I wont fall. Hard. Today was day-ish. I spent it trying to remember how it was may 11th and really not caring. It was hard. I remember how important Sarah's birthday used to be to me. Freshman year? I got her some weird stuff that year... Afterschool, Anna came over and studied with me and then I had company over until ten. If she was my guest I would have kicked her out at nine, but she was a "family" guest you know, so had to keep her here. It's silly. I miss that arizona guy. He was fun to talk to, but he's never on anymore. It was only two days... But it was kinda fun while it lasted. I need to majorly chill this weekend. This week has me drained. Thursday, May 11, 2000 12:48 a.m. crap. (too bad I can't explain). Uh I like taking 5 1/2 pages of notes for history. I like staying up until 1 am. That's slick. really. I've got really cold hands tho. I do have to go to bed. How the hell am I going to sleep. Well, anne. You're going to sleep well. Happy birthday Sarah. Tuesday, May 9, 2000 11:15 p.m. you know what. Life is pretty darn good sometimes. And sometimes its not, but we deal. How do we manage? I don't know. But in all this time of revelation and sadness and grief. I'm smiling. Because I know. i feel like I know something more than I should or do. even though I don't really. I just pretend. I think. Tuesday, May 9, 2000 07:34 p.m. Ma vie est a l'envers. Je change d'avis, mais apres plus longtemps. Mais je suis a l'aise avec la choix, mais... This new vocabulary list is great. i was going to write this entire entry in french but I only have twenty minutes to write it so I decided against it. but it has the best words I've learned of late... I have to learn them all by thursday of course. Shoot. I can't believe what I did this afternoon. I didn't mean to. Sucks to be me. I feel really bad about it too. 22 days. I'm feeling it. So is everyone. But see, there will forever be a drink on my car, and pumpkins, and The Big Board, and hitting cars in the rain, bowling, swinging. Nothing is going to replace that. I can't explain it right. But there is nothing like a fast friendship, and even if you think it's going to be over soon, you never ever know. Everything changes, every day. Things get complicated and scary, lord do I know what, but these friends have kept me safe. I have learned a lot from all of them. But 22 days. Damn. It's too soon. There is however a new Buffy. Which means life must be good. Sunday, May 7, 2000 10:27 p.m. I want to walk around taking photos all day. Have different people develop the film, and make the prints, but let me in on the darkroom part every now and then. The Locks are really nice. I had forgotten. it's amazing how I'm so close to such a senic place, and sometimes I don't even notice. I've got mountains, the sounds, lake union and washington, the canal, mt rainier... so much to look at. I normally just spend my time falling into the sky tho. Sunday, May 7, 2000 04:55 p.m. I forgot to mention (actually I thought I already had but alas... i forget too much) that Brandon and I went to 7-eleven yesterday, and PCC. I got my miracle water baby! Then we went swinging at Loyal Hieghts and watched a wee skateboarder stare at us the whole time. So we stared back. And then I went to drop him off at school and we saw Heidi. And I got to drive like a maniac through the parking lot. Good times, good times. Ok. I think that's really it. Sunday, May 7, 2000 04:44 p.m. "and everybody feels it/and everybody knows/there are those who have the flame/and there are those that just want to get close" -- Ben Lee. I swear. I could just fill pitas with song lyrics. Every day. Just listen to cds and be logged into Pitas... Every single song, I'm just like, "that has to go in my movie someday..." So I went to safeco field today and got kicked off it because the game started. I was like a crazed fan! Except not. But it was kind of funny. And really embarrassing. Last nite was good times. Except I stay out too damn late. When I have to get up at ten, that whole staying out until 3 is not the best. Especially when people are still saying, "So should we go swinging first?" I need a cd player in my car. Badly. Anyway. We watched movies and had a bit of a party (with miracle water... ack. 5~ but not like that. hmm... I've got issues.) I fell asleep during Apocalypse Now. Which is a REALLY GOOD MOVIE, by the way. And you should go see it. What else. Um. I'm going to go take a nap. I'll be back online tonite. of course. Saturday, May 6, 2000 03:44 p.m. It's kind of upsetting what a short nite last night was. I read from Michael That yesterday's movie was good times. Sigh. It was good of me to go to sleep though. So today I took the sats and boy was that fun. I was registered as Nylander Anne instead of Anne Nylander Though. I know, I try. I didn't remember there being 7 sections. I was all excited when we got to 5. Then I swore at myself. I wrote Beatles lyrics in my book. I drew on the desk in Kane Hall. I didn't go to the bathroom cos the line was about 18 miles long. Fortunately I didn't have to. Girls have serious bathroom issues. What else. I need to get swinging and to stop by PCC. I want to go to spot's too. So why the hell is no one online? I don't feel like calling people. And Graham is supposed to be calling me. There he is... He just got online. I'm omnicient like that I guess. Ugh. I want to go go go go go go go go go go go go. Brandon accused me of trying to get him to ditch his freinds. That was not my intention. I didn't know he was doing anything. He was actually doing the same thing as me. Waiting around for amigoes to call. So. Do something lets. I don't even care if I don't know you right about now. 540-8673. I'm not going anywhere. Yet. Friday, May 5, 2000 07:55 p.m. Anne already made a new entry today before archiving. ------------->> So check them! ------------->> |
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