@nne

Aimee. Eliott. Nina.

Not many people are talking.

Camp's going pretty well. Emily is being really nice and polite.

5-10 words is optimum for most headlines.

Everyone's hanging out. I'm so tired. I did /not/ get enought sleep last night.

I still have Matrix on the brain. We had a session about digital images and ethical questions (like, should Time make O.J. look "sinister"?) and I kept thinking "the spoon isn't real."

After the opening session we talked about student rights and next year's paper. Two words: fuck yeah.

I watched the matrix twice in a short two day period. That movie, might I add, KICKS ASS. I saw other movies, too, went out, went to pain in the grass.

I saw the moon set the other day. That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I never knew it got that bright. That same night I saw a shooting star.

Night city. Sky. Skyglow. No stars except the brightest ones. But there was a dog with a cool red flashing ball (the kind that's on the roof at Dick's.) at gasworks.

My friends brought me presents too.

I think my parents are jealous in a way that I finally got friends enough to not be severely depressed over the summer. They were used to be summer being me needing to find things to do, and now the time is escaping into the future without finishing what was needed to be done or starting what I want to do. I used to mope all summer. Now I barely sleep. And I feel good.

There's an actual story here. I told Adam to throw rocks at Peter's window. That's what Scott does, no problem, that's what Michael does, no problem. But Adam does it, and I think that he is throwing rocks at Jesus' parents' room. So I tell him to come back to the car. Instead, he /hides/ under the car in front of his car. This defies all logic because: he couldn't see when peter stuck his head out the window to see who it was, he was in the middle of the road, and his car was sitting there with an open door and music blasting. It was obvious that there was actually someone there, just hiding somewhere. So while I laughed at adam's silliness, peter came outside and asked us not to throw rocks at his window and also to see what was going on.

I worked this week, and the best night was closing at crown hill. It was busy so I had some fun, and I wore heidi's nametag (Joe wore brian's nametag) and scary boys came in, and I had a good time.

I hung out a lot with adam this week, because he got his car stereo on wednesday. We drove around Lake Washington that night, which was quite an adventure. one in which we lost our sense of direction, but fortunately not for long.

Rosie's birthday was this week, which was kind of quiet for me because I had stayed up all night the day before working on her poster and I quickly fell asleep with stella on the couch. She got us coffee the next day and took me home which was nice of her.

Friday, mightnight movie. Pretty good, stair shots. Found out the Woman Chaser is going play at the Varsity next week. That I will go see.

That's about it. I've been doing JSA stuff and Talisman stuff and cleaning my room.

Fuck. They did give me warning. Remind me when I have email accounts.

Do you know how many good songs there are? NOT ENOUGH. to make the bad ones go away. Actually there are. Just no one knows.

I am exhausted, i need to continue working on a project. I need to go to sleep. I have to wake up tomorrow. No.....

Fuck. I don't want to be upset. oh, and one more thing.

ROSIE ROCKS!! She's legal! happy birthday!

We got our coffee, and then I came home & had dinner and went out with rosie to adam's house, where he cooked food that I brought him. And he wouldn't sit still. We couldn't get him to do it. We listened to music, but his cd player was a bit bowie biased. We watched the stars on adam's deck and talked by candlelight. It was quiet and serene.

We went in rosie's hot tub, and I chilled with Stella for awhile too. That dog is so great. It's so fitting that a cool girl like rosie gets a cool dog too. :) Then I came home.

Then my till was over by $4, which sucked, because there was a mistake with a guy who wanted to rent a system and a game but didn't because we don't rent dreamcasts. Customers suck. I love them, but they can really mess things up sometimes. Please, always ask questions about what you're going to buy BEFORE the cashier rings you up. Because otherwise, we will always hate you. :)

Adam came to pick me up (he also got second place in his tourney yesterday!), and we went to my house where I changed and we left for the ave. We went to pizza brava and had some... pizza. Then we went to Allegro (anyone who doesn't know what allegro is needs to email me right now.) and I had a breve. We met up with scott there and called anna, who met us a little bit later.

I picked up 4 cds last night: Elliot Smith's xo, Cotton Mouth Texas, some tom petty and Moby (Play-finally.) I was very happy. The magnolia soundtrack was too damn expensive, otherwise I would have gotten that. Sigh.

We stopped shopping when I ran out of money, and drove to scott's house. This was because scott had left earlier (he started shopping before us) but wanted to come hang out later on. So we went, then to rosie's, where I met stella the precious puppy dog and we all fought over listening to our cds and getting to the movie on time.

Adam & I went to his house for a bit and listened to born to be wild really loud and had a good time. I had some ice cream. The gang showed up in rosie's car and we headed out. We had a slight detour on 65th because ro stopped to say hi to dan.

We got up to the movie just fine and watched brazil, which was bizzare and even tho it's a comedy, I found it really tragic and depressing. It was good, and funny til the end, but I was really upset by the finishing detail. It is possible that I think to much into movies however, this one included.

Then anna, scott & I didn't really want to do anything, so we all went home. Sigh. I listened to my cds a little, but mostly went to sleep.

Our meal took 2+ hours. I got the best sorbet I have ever had in my life. It was in an orange, but I wanted it to be a lemon. It wasn't. It was an orange. A frozen orange that was *shaped* like a lemon, but an orange.

She told me to rent seven, so I did. We watched it that very night. She came over for awhile before, and I ate dinner and she took a shower. That to me is a symbol of a really good friend. One that's comfortable enough to come of to your house and take a shower. I only had one other friend that ever did it.

Also, before scott came to watch the movie rosie picked up 1984 and started reading it, so I picked up catch-22 and plowed through a few chapters. It was so nice. We were just silent and I was completely content. If scott had decided not to show up, i would have just kept reading all night, or until rosie had to go home.

But scott did show up and we watched the movie, and I got very excited right before the ending, because there was a total suprise for me. The ending: total letdown. I mean, it was good & all. But I wanted more.

After the movie, we drove to the bluff. It was a gorgeous night, although not as gorgeous as the night before. All of us were talking, and scott & peter(who showed up later) started goofing off and being kind of loud. I asked scott about playing go the next day, and he really sarcastically said, "sure...". For some reason, it got me really upset. Then scott climbed around on the fence of the bluff and really creeped me out. I didn't want to see him fall, I was not in the mood for that. Then each of them started joking about scott falling. I didn't find it amusing. So I curled up around the fence, trying to ignore everyone, and rosie put her arm around me and made the "boys are like that, aren't they?" comment that had to be made. She then demanded silence for five minutes. It was splendid.

Then it was time for her to go home. I said I would go with scott, who had no set curfew. But I was upset and was being obvious about it, and he wanted to know what was going on, and I didn't want to talk about it.

I came home, and my dad was still awake, but I got the computer anyway. I got online but I didn't want to talk to anyone, only one person who never got online. I tried writing them an email but my computer kept fucking up and eventually the dsl stopped working and I started swearing, and crying. I was listening to Lucky and just got down.

See, at the bluff I had come to the conclusion that I've started to hate myself. I mean, it's been going on for awhile, because that's why i do some of the things that I do, but I really realized that had been what was going on. I've become more and more self-concious. And then I do things to myself that makes me like myself less, and it's a vicious cycle. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Then, to continue. I went to sleep. And I went to work, and adam attempted to visit me for lunch but again it did not work out. He did stop by, and he did pick me up at 6.

I didn't feel like hanging out with anyone really, but adam was being really swell and mellow and cool with me just lying around and being tired. He stayed for dinner, and then we looked for michael (because I really wanted to hang out with him, no one else really.).

He was around and we went to ladro. Of course. I tried to convince them to go to spots but it didn't work out. Then we were sort of short on ideas, and adam & I got into "drive randomly" mode. We started, but michael thought of roger's feild on Queen Anne. We lied in the grass for awhile and ran into some NWS people.

Then we started to go again. And we had the best idea ever. Our idea? That's right. We went to SEATAC. And hung out, paid too much for food from the vending machines. Michael contemplated taking a courtesy wheelchair. I bought excedrin for andreas (with a portable cup too, which was, dissapointingly, simply a 75 cent envelope.). We rode the train around twice. We talked to a guy who had a shirt that said "I love pussy," which he thought I would be offended by. Hmm. He had donuts. We got lost in the parking lot.

We drove back, and went through west seattle, where we played a really fun game: spot the fire hydrant. We would see the blue markers, and then try to find the hydrant on the side of the road. Also, we drove past a public bathroom that michael insited upon using. What else... The west seattle bridge was totally closed, and I have yet to figure out why. We went to dicks and got burgers, and I saw anne-marie which was weird. I mean, do you really expect to see someone you know from school at dicks at one in the morning? Oh. wait.

We went back to michael's and stayed there for awhile, until I really felt I should get home. That was around 2 am. I went home then. Adam took me. He contemplated taking his bike, but, it didn't fit in his car so it's still here.

Then today. I slept until 4. Then I got online with the intention to write this entry. But I didn't because andreas reminded me that I was going to an event tonite (that would be kevin's movie night @ haley's house.) So i got offline and watched american beauty. I didn't finish it cos I got coffee with scott around 7. That was nice.

At haley's, we watched kevin's highly intellectual and excellently filmed and crafted video, followed by the wonderful empire records. Then I got everyone to sign his postcard. We hung out & talked. We did what we do, us. And then, I came home. I dropped off scott first, too.

For now. that's it. I have songs tonight. Aimee Mann's Save me , The Cardigans' Choke (and I should warn you, that's an auto-download link), and Elliot Smith's Say Yes .