Looksee. It's anne. She made a website. Then people got mad because it was too, erhm, public I guess. I don't see where they could have fathomed that idea. But if you're here right now it is because you are a *trusted* friend, and if you somehow got here without asking permission then i probably HATE YOU, so go away please. Everyone else is welcome to enjoy.
By the way. Everything I write here is slander. Possibly none of it is true, because as I am trying to be honest, I may not honestly know what's up. The writing on this page is from a thing that goes ba-boom inside my chest, and nowhere else. Don't form your opinions of people here, that's stupid. This page wasn't meant for that. It was meant to keep me sane. It didn't work out tho.
These are my daily hits:
Pitas.com
my real website
ericka's pitas site
Dandy Andy's Web Page
brando's palace of crap
stop starvation
my archives
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Saturday, March 25, 2000 01:34 a.m.
Tonight was beautiful. Coming home just makes it seem so ordinary tho, makes calling it "beautiful" seem tacky.
Oh yeah I didn't go to school today because I slept through my alarm until 1:30. That was not slick. Plusses: I missed a chemistry test and French. Minuses: I missed a hella cool discussion and a quiz in MicroAps that I'm just going to have to do on monday instead of work. I'm always so flipping behind in that class cos I sit there and talk the whole time. That's bad.
But anyway today after the school that I didn't go to anna came over and brought me steamed milk with kimmy, and they sat and talked to me for awhile. Then my Mor Mor (mother's mother in norweigan) came and talked to me about how I didn't want to go to the thing on Cuba tonite cos I wasn't feeling well. So she said I could leave and I went to go get rachel and jessie to get my hair done but once we stopped at fred meyer's to get money they decided there wasn't enough time. And my already bad mood was not getting to be any better. So we left, drove to Greenlake in rush hour traffic, stopped to look for Graham, got scared by all the preppy people (like 200) at the aquatheatre and got the freak outta there. Then we drove back to Azteca where I went in and gave Lauren her present, but left because I was sick, tired, in a bad mood and didn't really feel like doing anything.
Then I come home and a while later get invited to go... bowling. At first I didn't want to, but I went anyway, and I ended up having a good time.
We even went to the park, and ate food, and did all kinds of neat stuff. I could go on and on about my love for swinging, but i don't have to. You all know. I just know that when I don't have to drive and I can see all the things that are so wonderful just by looking out the window, or looking around inside a car, it's great. I love it. There's nothing quite like it.
It's beautiful.
Friday, March 24, 2000 12:26 a.m.
PS Thank you everybody with the apologies about my gamma. That was really nice of you all, it helps a lot.
PPS "Love isn't about getting, it's about giving"
Friday, March 24, 2000 12:18 a.m.
It's late and I can't write much but.
Today was one of those days when it's before you're too sick to go to school and after it's early enough to stop from being sick. I felt really gross all day.
Emily missed her first duty of being managing editor today. Oh gee what a suprise. I'm already frustrated. Second day. Hopefully it will get better.
What else. Got coffee after school, stayed online far too long, didn't do enough of my homework, and all around had a fairly bad day.
Oh yeah my dad boarded a plane tonite headed for Massachusetts. Sigh. It's all very sad and quiet here today. But I finally finally finally ordered the Nick Drake cd. Should come saturday! Thank god. By then I may be dying from this itchy-throat thing. It's a nasty bug. Stay away from me peeps.
Wednesday, March 22, 2000 11:56 p.m.
sigh. um. Don't know what to say really. A lot of stuff happened today.
My grandma died. My aunts say it was comfortable and they were both there, but I think my dad feels bad that he wasn't. I feel bad too. She was dying a long hard death, and it was probably for the best. It's still hard tho, especially watching my dad. I keep thinking, one day I will be doing that with him. And my kids will be watching me. It makes me so sad.
I'm managing editor for the Talisman as of today. I'm happy about that, but I feel so bad for Erin. I know how hard she had been working. I know that she thought Talisman was the only merit left to school, and now... I know exactly how she feels. It felt like a sports competition or something. Tryouts. And I've been cut before. It's terrible. It makes you feel so utterly worthless.
The last thing that happened was our french club had its last day today. We did skits, our teacher came, it was horrible. I got a crystal goblet out of it tho. I came home and did homework.
Ah yes. And still the girl wants to be goody friends with me again. No. I can't. It hurts to damned much.
What I want is to be able to get away, go somewhere, preferably with someone who's goal in life is to make me happy, and just sit. Under the stars. By the lake. Any lake. In front of a puddle. Anywhere. And we can just sit there and smile or frown or cry and it would be fine. We wouldn't have to talk. Just be. I would just be able to escape. For a little while. It would be quiet and beautiful. And it would be me.
Tuesday, March 21, 2000 05:42 p.m.
I'm writing my entry early tonite, because i want to try to NOT go online all night like I have been. It's not good for my health, things take too long, and I end up doing lots of really fun stuff--that's horrible to my grades in class. So tonight, I'm going to buckle down and do some stoichiometry, and the rest of my homework.
So today was pretty good. Anna seemed to be feeling a lot better than she was yesterday. Back to her old self, listening in on gossip in 2nd period. ;) Anna ROCKS.
In second period, I also read an email that Kristi and Heidi wrote me, "TOP TEN REASONS ANNE NYLANDER ROCKS THE HOUSE" And it's great. So:
TOP TEN REASONS Heidi & Kristi ROCK THE HOUSE
10) They're friends with me, which of course makes them cool.
9)They both have perfect, 20/20 vision
8) They both get out of skool a year earlier than me.
7) They have awesome taste in music, and *know* the lyrics!
6) They are the L.A. Dept Scholar and The Washington State Scholar
5) They're funny
4) They don't mind talking shmack
3) They'll both be old enough to buy me cigarrettes soon (no offense, brandon!)
2) They take me swinging or invite me to crazy parties
1) They're both my heroes.
So there you go. It's weird, the sun is setting right now. Normally I write this so late at night. Anyway. What else happened. I went, I came home watched a little B @ T's, worked on my zine. Will be doing homework now.
Sniff.
Monday, March 20, 2000 11:16 p.m.
It was really stupid of me to stay up so late last night. I mean, I regretted it then, But today I'm reeling from the consequences.
Yes, that's right. The hw I stayed up until 2 am to write is due... tomorrow. Poo.
And then I had the whole Rosie experience in third period, which made me feel great. I mean this whole honesty policy is really rough. I guess I want her to know that she should ask a question that she likes the answer to. I'm not going to be her friend, or try to help, until she figures out herself. And it hurts to say that, but I know if I don't stay away it will hurt so much more.
I also had a little tiff in 4th period with anna, which made me think about how much I apreciate her because she's the sane one of my junior friends. I don't want to fight. It's a waste of time, and I need to sleep tonight.
I have this weird thing. I'm obsessed with my hair when it's clean. I can't leave it down because I just keep running my hands through it, over and over. I like the way it looks, and the way it feels. So shiny and nice. It makes me feel good. I'm strange. I know.
Boy did I want to go swinging today. I did a layout for mirror instead. And went online, like always.
That's about it. My day.
I'm watching cheer tryouts tomorrow for the first time in my high school career. I'll tell you how it goes.
Sunday, March 19, 2000 10:20 p.m.
Okee. Now that I have finished revamping my page, (cute, aint it? I made it all mysewlf) I can finally WRITE about what I've been doing lately.
Ok, so I wrote about friday already, but I haven't talked about the rest of this great and wonderful weekend! Ok, so on saturday I happily slept until one, got up and started watching bad tv. I think I might make this a trend, because it seems like channel 11 has started a saturday tim curry movie marathon. Yesterday it was thhis movie called "oscar" about a mob boss trying to go clean, which was quite hilarious. Tim curry was a sleazy linguist. My mommy made me soup and watched some of it with me.
Then I came downstairs and got online and brandon allowed me to invite myself to go bowling. He was actually looking for andrea's phone number, which I don't have, but it ended up being this complicated crazy and confusing mess because I didn't know what was going on and brandon didn't have time to talk. SO. I invited heidi, and the two guys invited scott and we all piled into my car to go bowling. Heidi, Andreas and I all went swinging first to help Heidi get out of her house sooner (we went across the street too. When we run, we run far.). It didn't work out tho. This was because the wait at both Lelani and Sunset Bowl was two hours long. So we sat in the car at Sunset saying, "so...What are we going to do now?" we all looked at each other, and then I said, "Well, we could go to Beth's?..."
I love how they replied. "Isn't that place kind of...dirty?" AHH! My hangout. The "cool" place to be. It's "dirty." haha. Yes it is dirty, but it's the whole ambiance. Because to be cool and punk rock you have to be dirty too. HA. I'm so glad I'm not cool and punk rock....
Anyway so I made them all go to B&O (duh). And yet again, my new found friends amused me because they were a little upset that we sat in the smoking section (there was less wait if we sat there). Commenting on retching and other insundry things, I had a good time because I always sit in the smoking section. And I always only mentally complain.
So I bought Brandon his cheesecake and my cheesecake and we ate it. I made a few comments about heidi's tard-resembling pastry (which I'm sure was quite good), and Brandon said he still wanted to go bowling.
So, after a few phone calls (either they weren't taking reservations, or weren't listed)we piled into my car again and went to Lelani lanes, listening to disco and kcmu all the way. We got there, and it was Rockin Rollin Bowlin (known to most of the country as cosmic bowling but hey). We had fun. I got second place the first game, but the second two I lost terribly because I was destracted by good music, good times, and the thought of my father sitting at home and waiting for me. Oh yeah and that my bowling skills consist of dumb luck.
So after all that we got BACK in the car again, I dropped everybody off, and finally walked in around 3 AM to see my dad *had* waited up for me. How nice. He wasn't mad tho. Just worried.
Then I worked on my zine, and by 5 I had almost finished it. I went to sleep until 12, ate, watched Tea With Mussolini (which I thought was quite good. I cried a lot. Which isn't saying a lot coming from me, the pushover). Then I revamped my page, did some homework, watched the repeat of Felicity. Can someone tell me why the flip I watch repeats? Oh yes because I hate school.
"There will be times when all the things she said
will fill your head
You wont forget her
And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love beind the tears
cried for no one
A Love that should have lasted years."
Sunday, March 19, 2000 06:50 p.m.
I have to see what alls going down on my page when I put text there. It may be nothing. Yikes
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