@nne

I went to the draggin earth show tonight which was excellent as always. It's funny. They do mostly covers, but since I don't know the songs' originals, I'm getting to know them by thinking, "oh yeah, they played this last time..." heh.

Tonight, when I was at the park between the sets of the show, I watched the 12 other people walking around the park and thought to myself, "you know, a year ago you would have never thought this would happen to you. You had one friend, and she left you for a boy (which isnt really how the story goes but that's how I thought it was). You spent endless days writing letters and crying and listening to cds. Now you barely have time to yourself because of all these people who are trying to see you happy. Holy crap. This is the best feeling ever."

After the show we went to stella's and ate and we welcomed tim to our "banking system" which I believe I invented when the ballardcore first started hanging out because I had no money. But it was all good. Scott nicely paid for me, too. He says he's bought me gallons of coffe. I'm scared to know how true that is...

You are no one. I wish you were.

The diner serves huge amounts of food, and heidi & I could only eat about half of our meal. It was good, however.

We returned to rosie's stand and got italian sodas, talked for a little bit and then left. We took heidi home.

Then me & adam finished listening to magical mystery tour & started listening to revolver. We had already listened to Sgt. Pepper's and bits of the White Album disc one. I think we bored heidi a little with our beatles discussions, but I was having a good time.

We went up to mirror to talk to my boss about a job next year there. Andy told me I didn't have to turn in an application or anything and that I would just be hired again based on the fact that I rock. But Linda (new temp. boss) says no. I have to turn in a portfolio and my application very soon. And that sucks.

We went back to Baker Park where I took some photos for my mom's website. Then we went back to my house.

It was midafternoon on a warm summer day. We got bored. Very bored. I went out and picked raspberries and boysens and started to make 2 pies.

We sat around for quite awhile saying, "what do you want to do?" "I dunno, what do you want to do?" til finally michael said on irc that there was a film of some sort going on at his house. So we left not-clearly stating that we were going to pick up peter first.

We get up to queen anne & find out rosie is getting him too. So she got a little mad when she saw all of us there. It was ok, we had moved on from david bowie to pearl jam in the car. I was contemplating going straight home but that would have been a hassle for adam. So I went to michael's where we waited for peter & rosie, who came quickly and left again because peter had lost a key and found it on his way home. That's right: 3 trips to pick up one boy who could have taken the bus when he got off work at the right time, anyway. But he's jesus, so, what can you do?

We watched a hal hartley movie called "amatuer" about an ex-nun who writes smutty stories for a local pornagrapher. He tells her she's mediocre, but after she meets a man who fell from a window and cannot remember his name.

The film. is. bizzare. But hilarious at the same time. I can't give away the best scenes because it gives away the movie, but, hmm... no forgot what I was going to say.

Afterwords michael started flipping the channels so I went outside cos I didn't want to watch tv anymore. The moon was out so I watched it from a rocking chair in the corner of the yard. I went back inside for a minute or two before leaving again, but there was still tvage. Adam came outside too, and we laughed at darwin until he started attacking adam.

Then we all piled in scott's car. We drove. To my house to get a present for michael, which I hope he enjoyed, then to the park behind fred meyers. It was busy. We went to carkeek instead. It was nice, the sunset was good.

I got really depressed. Everyone walked down to the beach and I didn't want to so i stayed in the upper part of the park. When i first got off the bridge between the park & the beach, a car pulled up, and I guy got out and said, "come here! I need to talk to you about something."

After I realized he wasn't talking to me I got really upset that I am so terrified to be alone at night. He wasn't going even talking to me, and I was afraid he was going to kill me. I sat on a bench near the memorial that doesn't have a plaque, and thought about how everything has changed for me in about a month. It's a changed, but in a way it's all still exactly the same. I feel like I do nothing, I'm a slob, and I'm a bad person. I'm so tragic. Whoo.

They all came back and got in the car, and then we started a debate about hate crime and it lead into the affirmative action/reverse rascism beliefs. No one noticed when I shut up I started crying in the back seat. I was upset already, when friends got all riled up about this issue knowing they only had 10 minutes to talk about it, I got upset. there is nothing you can say and resolve in 10 minutes over that subject.

We all got out at michael's and adam and I decided we had to stop for food somewhere before we went home, and cheap. So, we went to chez richards and both had the same gormet meal: a deluxe, fries, and a coke.

I didn't want to go home right away, and so we drove again. We drove all over seattle, including my favorite drive down lake washington blvd. we listened to 2 ben lee albums (yay, I had just gotten my cds back from scott).

I also went to the All-star party and got ice cream and went up to B&O where I think we all decided we never need to return... I got home around 12 that night.

Then yesterday, I got up, went to work, boxed jewel cases. Came home. Stopped by briano's & got coffee first. Went to Dicks with my parents but could barely eat (I have not had a decent meal that was somewhat healthy in 2 days.), then came back to the house.

I of course wanted out of the house so I left with adam and watched him eat (I had a coke, at... the restaurant across from lincoln that I can never remember the name of. The purple one that kate ate at.) Then we came back to my house and hung out for awhile calling people. We finally decided to go see High Fidelity at Seven Gables, and I'm really glad we did. That movie is so great. I think it's one of those movies I could watch about a thousand more times too. Ack. :)

We came right home after that. I added pitas entries to my journal. Woohoo. I went to sleep.

This morning I went to the dentist, and found out I hadn't been properly taking care of my lack of tooth. I also talked to a guy who had been operating on me. I didn't know him *at all*. It was funny.

I'm also prepared for opening, closing, and preventing armed robbery. Damn. I'm EXCITED. I start work tomorrow. $$$.

I kinda hid in my room for the past 5 hours or so, after losing miserably at go, and doing all the other stuff I did half-heartedly the rest of the day.

This morning there was no water pressure in my shower, and I've been grumpy ever since. Not to mention, I went to northgate with my mom and bought shoes. Me & my mom do not make good shoppers, especially for certain things on a deadline. We tend to bite.

I was walked down the hall aways... and I just stayed in this little cubby hole for I don't know how long. I thought I was ready to start the surgery then, but it was actually over. Oops.

Then my mom came back and said something about perscriptions, and then she left again, and I fell back asleep. I was drifting back a bit when my mom came and walked me to the car, cos I could hardly stand on my own.

I made it inside my house, and just crashed on the couch.

My woke me up around... 10 or so, saying the dentist had called and wanted to know how I was, which wasn't that bad. I hadn't been bleeding or swallowing blood, so I got up for a bit and had some applesauce and then some more drugs. I got online for a bit, and heard about picnic issues.

I went back upstairs and read Catch-22 for awhile, and then I fell asleep again.

This morning I went to work to fill out my last paperwork, and find out my schedule for next week (i work tues, wed, & sunday. but you could only visit me on sunday cos I'm helping move into the new store those days.) After that I went to safeway and picked up some soft food for me to eat. I got lots.

Yesterday I went to Mormor's again because she had strawberry shortcake she wanted me & some friends to eat and I couldn't roust out very many people to come. I thought I could at least get a car load but it was short notice and people didn't want to go. So it was ok. I went with Heidi & Rosie and we played Taboo and talked about Rosie's new computer, ate our shortcake and quickly left.

Then Heidi went home cos she was to go out again with brandon. Rosie and I decided that home would not be fun at that point so she took me up to Queen Anne and bought me coffee & made me happy. Ahh... the last thing I've eaten in 14 hours was an excellent vanilla breve. I mean I had some water this morning but that's it. I'm so hungry.

This morning I got up around 10 and just hung out for awhile, wrote a letter, sent some mail, that kind of thing. I realized I had time to kill before surgurey and that Adam had a nice rental car with a cd player... I put 2 & 2 together and we chilled. But not before Peter got online in Tunisia so of course we chatted with him for awhile. It was good to see him alive and well.

Adam took me from ballard to the udistrict to the aboretum to capitol hill to downtown and back to ballard again. I had a good time, but I complained too much about being hungry. I sorry adam.